Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Simulblast! Week 006 Of Fall 2013

Will the standings change this week? Are you voting to make an impact?!



THIS WEEK'S CHALLENGE: Write your review like a jaded or obsessed weeaboo!


MEGANEBU! (Episode Six)

PLAYER: Kanashimi

CLASS: Boss



We're back to the wonders of Meganebu! After six weeks I have to say I'm sorely disappointed with the lack of interest in this brilliant burst of colors and sexy characters. I feel as though Free! ruined the entire future for Meganebu! They stole the "!", they copied the fanservice, and they even tried to pass their show as emotional and meaningful. Pfft, that fandom can suck it! It's time for the sixth episode of Meganebu! entitled MR.



The club of adorable goofs is having another meeting. I think it's just an excuse for Akira and Mitsuki to have OTP time. They're calling this time "MR Snap Inspection". That doesn't sound very romantic, but whatever. Mitsuki declares it's his first time and he's entirely in his hands. Uguu, my babies~



Hayato interrupts, asking stupid questions as per usual right as my OTP was about to kissu. Though I kinda like the YukiyaXAkira pairing or the YukiyaXMe pairing~ Anyway! Akira explains what exactly a MR Snap Inspection is with subtle poetry obviously directed at Mitsuki. It's an assessment of their glasses lenses and since Hayato is a loser, he doesn't have any. Akira will be checking thoroughly for any dirty ukes, I mean dirt or scratches.



Mitsuki obviously gets the highest score because he's the only uke that matters anyway. Hayato has some depressing monologue, but no one cares because he's the worst character. He's pretty much Rin from Free!; screw that guy. Stupid rival show with its stupid swimming.



Someone overhears their meeting and slips in a sale about glasses cleaner into the club door. They fall for it, hook, line, and sinker. They are then followed by several mysterious men who keep buying said cleaner before them. It's kind of a waste of time since they should've just gone into a love hotel by now anyway. Instead they decide to vogue inside of a subway car. Mitsuki falls and loses the game, but it's obvious he just misaimed his fall into Akira-sempai!



They break for lunch, and cute, little Yukiya stuffs his food in his mouth to present information about the mysterious wipes. I just wanna stuff his cheeks with food and watch him as if he's a little squirrel. Kawaii desu! They talk about other stuff, but I'm too busy with my male glasses squirrel fantasies and marriage to process it. I'm sure it was better than Free! though!



Eh, love stories? Where did that come from? RomeoXJuliet scene occurs, but with a total not OTP of MitsukiXHayato so it doesn't matter. Then some recycled animation.



Takuma found the shampoo he uses and reveals he washes his glasses when he washes his hair. Akira is in a bit of dread, but I think this just means Akira will have to bathe with him to ensure he doesn't do it again, of course! Yukiya reveals he's about as obsessive with his products and their nice, shiny screen as me. It means we need to go on our honeymoon, ASAP.



Hayato wears some horrible spray on his head that will hurt the sides of his glasses and cause strain. They are then in feudal Japan and he's about to commit seppekku. It's like all of my dreams are coming true! They're interrupted though when the store clerk comes back with their single package of wipes. It's 2,800 yen but they have that 80% flyer, which was actually from yesterday. The club is crushed because you people keep raving about Free! Next, you'll compare it to something horrible like Loveless or something.



They all leave crying at their failure. Waaaah, my babies. It's okay, mama loves you. Interrupting this moment are the men who had been following them this entire time. First off, they seem like jerks, and all of them are a part of the student council (or hima council). For whatever reason they did this only to see them in despair, and Akira ignores their monologue because their lenses are dirty from tears. If only they had the wipes that the student council bought. It appears the student council just wants to get rid of the Glasses Club. How dare they!? They'll have to deal with Mama Bear. Nobody hurts my babies



However, Akira screams out, "MEGANE!" He declares the events of today will propel them into a better tomorrow. Everyone cheers up and continues to totally disregard the student council. Their plan was all for nothingThese student council guys are really insane. With that end I will sleep on clouds of lovey-dovey fantasy adventures of MitsukiXAkira.



Watch Meganebu! on or talk about this episode on our .

GALILEI DONNA (Episode Six)

PLAYER: Christmas

CLASS: Guest Relations



Another week, another episode of our favorite show! To be honest, I was a little disappointed that last episode focused so much on two characters that we'll never see again and not a whole lot on the adorable Hozuki. I'm surprised they haven't just let her have a full episode to herself since she's obviously the only reason anyone watches anyway. The other three girls don't even have any special skills. Anyway, let's get on with the show.



It looks like this episode is going to be all about Hazuki. Looks like she's come down with a bad fever or something. Hopefully Hozuki is the one doing all the work, since she seems to take care of everything else anyway. We also get some back story for our man in black, Roberto. I still don't really care too much about him so let's get back to Hozuki.



If there's anyone in the show who can compare to my waifu Hozuki, it's the leader of Black Ganymede. It looks like his affection for Hazuki is almost the same as mine for Hozuki. I'm curious just how popular this show is in Japan, since that would affect the odds of how many figures they make. I would kill for a Nendoroid of Hozuki.



This seems to be an episode for back stories of characters I don't really care about. After dealing with Roberto going crazy and shooting a bunch of people, we go back to the real reason we're still watching. Since Hozuki is the best character in the show, she has an awesome necklace that has magical powers. Apparently it's not just any magical necklace, it's the MacGuffin we've been looking for this whole time. I should have known she had it the whole time. Hopefully this means we'll have more of the next episode focused on Hozuki and not everyone else.



Watch Galilei Donna on or talk about this episode on our .

GUNDAM BUILD FIGHTERS I COULDN'T BECOME A HERO, SO I RELUCTANTLY DECIDED TO GET A JOB (Episode Six)

PLAYER: Elk

CLASS: DJ



Challenge Activated: Jaded Weeaboo mode is go~!



Elk here, and as you might have noticed I've been attacked with a Switch-a-Roo! Meaning I have to review an episode of I Couldn't Become a Hero, So I Reluctantly Decided to Get a Job. The intro isn't even over and I'm already done. This is what anime has come to? This is very obviously a fanservice anime, so of course I'm not expecting a lot. Cowboy Bebop, this is not.



The series is set in a modern-esque world where things are powered by magic instead of electricity, and monsters seem to be treated like normal animals. Besides the mindless fanservice, we seem to have an undercurrent of rivalries in competing stores. The evil store that Airi works at is buying mass-produced products that use monster slave labour to manufacture them. I guess with the comedy angle they're going for in this modern-fantasy setting it's "clever" to focus on inconsequential things like competing stores instead of a real conflict, but at the same time, despite its clever premise, it's not really gripping.



This episode had a few subplots followed by a cliffhanger. Nothing really big, like an anime from the 90s would have, rather a new store is opening up with lower prices thanks to monster slave labour, a woman needs an air conditioner installed, and the magic tank at a nearby store that does business with the main store is malfunctioning and needs repaired. Epic story telling at it's finest.



So of course the main character, being the center of the fanservice universe has two elf ladies who are apparently vying for his attention. A tsundere named Airi and a co-worker named Fino. You already know this of course, if you've been watching the series or keeping up with Simulblast. Anyways, as Airi works at the evil store using monster slave labour (and is forced to dress up in a bunny outfit for fanservice purposes,) it seems like drama ready to unfold. We also get some job dissatisfaction from her, to which Fino replies with a cheesy line about how a minimum wage retail job should be super fulfilling. Is this supposed to brainwash hikikkomori into getting low paying jobs instead of isolating themselves in their rooms?



An older lady then buys the air conditioner from the good store, and the main character has to make a trip to fix the malfunctioning magic tank so the Rei Ayanami clone can go install the air conditioner. Of course, the malfunctioning magic tank is just an excuse to have a slime like creature molest one of the female characters, and then explode into a white substance that looks rather likewell, let's leave that unsaid.



After everyone is cleaned up we hear that trouble is brewing back at the store! Are the cash registers down? Cleanup on Aisle 3? Certainly this must be a conflict of the highest order, but unfortunately (or fortunately, if you only have to watch this episode,) we'll never know, as it's a cliffhanger!



I was going to stop here, but I feel like I have to note that the ending theme features all the main female characters topless covering themselves with their hands or hair. Truly artI miss good anime.



Watch Gundam Build Fighters on or talk about this episode on our .

LOG HORIZON (Episode Six)

PLAYER: Siege

CLASS: Content Provider



I am appalled.



Log Horizon has thoroughly appalled me.



This anime, to start, is a TOTAL rip off of Sword Art Online, which is TOTALLY a rip off of .hack. Are you kidding me, guys? Just another symptom of the collapsing anime industry. I just wanna see a return to the old way of doing anime. Like, Evangelion. When are they EVER gonna remake Evangelion?



And what's with this opening? Beastie Boys wannabes. When can we get back to the classics?



We open to this big soldier dude being a pervert. Like hello, perverted characters have so been done. Miroku from Inuyasha, anyone? I'm telling you, not an original thought in the industry these days.



Oh boy, now we're focusing on how cute the ninja girl is. Can you say "Moe era nonsense"? I can and did.



Nothing seems to be going on to advance the plot so far. Psh, Dragonball Z was holding back plot development waaaaay before whatever this is.



Apparently all the guilds are warring with each other, dividing the strong from the weak. Something about the downfall of ethics and a rise in indiscriminate murder. God, do we really need another anime about wars? Give me a break, Japan. Your country could learn a thing or two from me.



The guilds have failed to set up a central government as society collapses around them. Just like the US government is collapsing around us, am I right? I'd give anything to move to Japan; there's nothing wrong with their government at all.



This episode, like many others, is getting bogged down in exposition. With almost ten solid minutes of solid exposition, I'm struggling to stay awake. While we're getting a little insight into the struggling world, we're getting it all at once. Older anime never had pacing problems. Even more proof that we should go back to the way things were.



The main character is having some sort of weird spiritual messages from some girl. Presumeably someone he once knew. Maybe she's dead or something. Could you BE any more cliche, Log Horizon?



One cliche Log Horizon notably ignores is having hot girls everywhere. Yeah, there are passable girls, but nothing here I'd add to my body pillow collection. Why doesn't Shiroe have a harem around him? Why did the industry have to change ever, instead of staying exactly the same as I nostalgically remember it? I don't know, but it keeps me up at night.



There's a lot of walking around and discussing maybe what characters should do about the collapsing society. You know, the kind of thing classic anime would skip? That's entirely what this anime is. This is the anime equivalent of a textbook, or a scientific paper. While the characters are technically deep, they aren't interesting in any way. The only interesting one was the cat, and that was before we knew anything about him. Now that we know that he's just another player who can cook and happens to be a cat, he's fallen into the same trap as every other character; he's just a vehicle to carry exposition into more exposition.



Maybe soon we're going to see all of this exposition come to fruition, and maybe it's gonna be really really great, but I don't see that coming.



In short, what I've gathered from this episode is that Shiroe is going to save a little girl that is sleeping on the floor. Apparently she's stuck in a guild that's really rude and does some MMO stuff that I couldn't care less about. But trust me, it's really bad. That's the closest thing to plot that has happened all episode.



Wait! We have a plot bombshell going on. Shiroe is going to become a vigilante to save Akihabara from the tyranny that holds it. Or, more or less, he's becoming Batman. Come on, Log Horizon, you're not even ripping off an anime at this point. Is the entire exquisite backlog of pre-2000 s anime not good enough for you to rip off? You have to move into the far-inferior Western entertainment? I knew you were low, Log Horizon, but I didn't know you were that low.



In the end of the episode, we find that Shiroe has founded a guild despite hating guilds. Guess what the guild's called. Go on, guess. You can do it.



Yep, the guild is called Log Horizon. Which is still not a name I understand. Maybe if this anime compelled me to pay more attention, I would understand it.



All I'm gonna say to end this is that Log Horizon is proof of the downfall of anime. Maybe next time we do Simulblast, we can all watch golden age anime titles. We would be teaching the children who eat this stuff up what real anime is, while also enjoying what we watch.



I can dream.



Watch Log Horizon on or talk about this episode on our .

DIABOLIK LOVERS (Episode Six)

PLAYER: Midnight

CLASS: DJ



You know, I talked about it a few episodes back, but I'd like to focus on the opening again and tell you just how completely bland and generic it is compared to the game's opening! The opening to the game is a rock ballad and it's absolutely sugoi desu ne! It doesn't have any of that laying in flower petals stuff you see in every opening ever. If i ran a content filter to compare the anime's opening to half of the anime openings ever made. It wouldn't even make a 10% unique rating! How totally lame!



So the episode opens up with Kanato (once again, for those who have forgotten our creepy little shouta.) singing in English. It's not absolutely horrid Engrish, but it could totally be better! They should have just had him sing in Japanese; English ruins so many good anime anyway (Note: I'm saying that for the challenge, dubs are amazing. Please support all official companies!). Either way, it's totally creepy! He and Yui start talking, and he wonders why she's so afraid of him. I would have to say, the fear probably started when you pinned her down in a graveyard and drank her blood. Who am I to judge, though?



He also wonders why she seems so concerned about him. As if to prove some kind of point, he throws himself backwards off the balcony. She runs down all concerned about him. Has she never watched a vampire movie in her life? How about some vampire manga or vampire anime. Any which way you cut it, for a girl stuck living with a bunch of vampires, she knows very little about them.



Kanato takes her to a place that he's fond of, some kind of wax museum. It's full of figures of brides. How can anyone be fond of a place like this? I feel like I should make a meter to rank how creepy this scene is. The next thing he does is offer to put her on display as a wax figure. Lets be honest, she's just as interesting as a wax figure. Then the episode takes a turn for the massively awkward, but what else is new? Kanato looses any good points he got last episode, and we get awkward shouta rape moments. Also, he mentions that the wax dolls are the previous sacrificial brides! Good job show, you managed to get even creepier!



God, why can't this show have any guys with a decent personality to make into my husbando!? Oh wait! there's the brother whose name I couldn't remember last episode. Subaru, who tells her to leave. Wow, someone who isn't trying to jump on her and bite her! She goes to leave. Run Yui! Run quickly. She proceeds to not do anything of the sort. She sits down, looks at the picture of her dad, and decides to stay.



She goes to tell Subaru about this and he gives her a silver knife, something that can kill vampires. Alright, until he ruins it! Subaru is going to be my new husbando! I mean, he's pretty much the only brother that hasn't sent me into a blind rage. Speaking of characters that send me into a completely blind rage, she goes back to her room and there's Raito! You know, she could just knife him. It'd be so easy.



They move into talking about love and religion again. Anime, what did i tell you the last time you tried talking religion with me? You know, I've mentioned the game a few times, and I'd rather be playing it! At least in that you get to know these characters a little and you can always go back if you hate one, pick another one, and make them your husbando!



Also! I don't think I've said it before but Raito's verbal tick, calling her "B-word-chan," is really annoying and all kinds of degrading. It takes less then half a scene to seriously tick me off. Then the episode ends with a shot of a bloody bride's gown. With absolutely no context at all. What else is new?



Midnight used 30% of her current tally to active Experience Boost! This means that all votes this week will be worth double the amount they usually are. The total points (159) will be deducted next week. Midnight also completed this week's challenge and is rewarded an extra 20 points.



Watch Diabolik Lovers on or talk about this episode on our .

I COULDN'T BECOME A HERO, SO I RELUCTANTLY DECIDED TO GET A JOB GUNDAM BUILD FIGHTERS (Episode Six)

PLAYER: Bobby Henshin

CLASS: DJ



Hi everybody! I attacked Elk this week, so I got to review episode 6 of Gundam Build Fighters. Like, oh my god, guys. So episode 6 of Gundam Build Fighters was, like, the best episode ever! Reiji~kun and Sei~kun are in a fuss because Yuuki~sempai bowed out of the quarter finals. So Reiji~kun was all like "I can't believe I was so worked up to fight a guy who chickens out of a fight!" Sei~kun on the other hand was sure that he had a reason for backing out of the tournament. It turns out though that Yuuki~sempai is now working for the PP corporation who is in charge of the Gunpla battle tournament. They are wanting to use Yuuki~sempai as the face of the new 3rd generation of Gunpla battlers. Reiji~kun on the other hand is losing his will to fight anymore cause he doesn't think anyone can be a true challenge for him.



This is when our good all pal Rumble Ral~san shows up and tells Reiji~kun about how Gunpla fighters don't just make their models to fight and get stronger, But also as a hobby and a way to show love to the world of Gundam. At the end of Ral~san's explanation they are approached by none other then Yuuki~sempai! Reiji~kun rushes back to the shop to get Build Striker to have the long awaited rematch they have both been waiting for. They meet up at the school gym with both confidence and anticipation.



The battle starts in stage one, Outer Space! Both sides are not letting off for a single second. The action between these two fighters kept me on the edge of my seat. At the beginning, Zaku Amazing~chan looks to clearly have the advantage in the battle, but Reiji~kun is not going to back down at all. Then the battle gets to the point where they are at point blank range of each other and unleash everything. Their Gunpla explode, and they start to attack each other with their JET BACKPACKS OF LASERS! With two battle screams and a giant explosion, the battle fades out to a train station where Yuuki~sempai shares a soda with a guy from the PP corporation.



Wait who won?! WHO WON!? Turns out that the winner of the battle was Yuuki~kun, because Reiji~kun was like "We lost big time!" But with that loss, it gives him the confidence to continue battling till they win the tournament! This was by far the best episode of the series yet. They had action and suspense with.. oh my god it was just so awesome! Weeabooing aside, this was actually the best episode yet. The action and storyline all come together to deliver the best scenes in the anime to date. It makes me want to collect more Gundam models which, is appropriate cause I bought a model of Burning Gundam at Youmacon.



Watch I Couldn't Become A Hero, So I Reluctantly Decided To Get A Job on or talk about this episode on our .

BEYOND THE BOUNDARY (Episode Six)

PLAYER: Zero Gravity

CLASS: DJ



The battle against the Hollow Shadow is over, and Mirai has obtained the revenge she wanted for the death of her childhood friend Yui. Akihito's sleeping youmu side has been subdued. Life goes back to normal. Normal as it can get, anyway. The episode starts off with Mirai finally caving in and joining the Literary Club, much to Akihito's pleasure.



However, for disobeying the order for everyone to remain inside, Mirai's license for killing Youmu and turning in their stones is temporarily taken away as punishment. Seeing as collecting the remnants of a youmu is Mirai's only form of earning money for food, she turns to Mitsuki, who agrees to ask her boss about giving Mirai a part time job. It's at this point that Mirai and Mitsuki begin a conversation regarding Mirai's anti-socialism and Akihito's slump of depression. Akihito transforming into a youmu and attacking others has happened previously, when the limit of his immortality is pushed too far; the last time ended with Hiroomi's savage scar covering his entire back. Mitsuki notes he always falls into a depression when he changes. They notice a passerby possessed by a youmu, which Mitsuki and Mirai confront and defeat easily. They later find that Shizuka had been tracking it for some time, as Mirai cannot properly turn it in, Shizuka does and treats the girls to barbecue.



Mitsuki and Mirai arrive at Ayaka's shop. Ayake is more than willing to give her a part time job, also forcing Mirai into photo shoots of herself in dresses in exchange for extra money. Knowing that Akihito would jump at the chance to buy photos of Mirai in a maid dress. Throughout the episode, Mitsuki has had lingering memories in regards to how she continued to avoid the festival that was going on on that day. When Mitsuki and Mirai are left alone to close up the shop, Mirai asks why Mitsuki refuses to go to the festival. Mitsuki avoids a real answer by simply saying that Spirit Warriors are always alone. As they close the shop, she notices Mirai lighting up a candle, claiming they can have their own festival in the shop. This brings up a memory when Mitsuki lit up similar candles and pretended she was at the festival.



Mitsuki changes her mind and brings Mirai to the festival, much to Mirai's delight. They then run into Akihito and Hiroomi, whom the latter was forcing to go to the festival, surprised to find Mirai and Mitsuki at the festival. The episode draws to a close with them watching fireworks at the end of the festival, with Mirai implying that none of them have to be alone.



At this point, I have no general positive or negative opinion about the series thus far. While I still adore the animation and music in the story, I still find some things that bother me. The one flaw I find in the writing is leaving the audience in mystery. What determines the value of youmu's stone? We saw that the Hollow Shadow was a highly ranked youmu, yet it's stone was worth next to nothing, whereas a random possessor youmu's stone was worth over 50,000 yen. Where does one obtain a license? How does one become a Spirit Warrior? The flaw with the show, at least so far, is simply not entirely engaging the audience, things regarding the Spirit World aren't explored unless someone is lectured (which only happened in possibly one incident). All I can say isI wonder how much money that photo of Mirai was worth. Payday is coming up soon for me.



Watch Beyond The Boundary on or talk about this episode on our .

OUTBREAK COMPANY (Episode Six)

PLAYER: Kayarath

CLASS: Content Provider



Outbreak Company is one of those shows that is very reliant upon cliches and stock ideas. You've got your fantasy stuff like elves and dwarves hating each other. You've got your otaku stuff like people eating rice off each other cheeks. One can get the feeling that it's all some attempt at cross over marketing to get people from multiple demographics to buy the same thing.



Today's reused plot is the use of sports to promote friendship between two hostile groups. You've got the elves and dwarves playing the part of the hostile groups and Shin'ichi playing the role of the guy trying to get the groups to get along with each other. Pentralka plays the excited audience while Minori mines as much fanservice as possible from the whole scenario.



In a surprise to both everyone and no one, the game goes horribly wrong! Soccer wasn't designed to account for dwarven strength or elfin magic, and they both use the full extent of their powers because they hate each other's guts. Shin'ichi gets in way over his head when the game turns into a battle. All looks lost when a ridiculous event happens to save the day; were you expecting other wise? Empress Pentralka wants in on the action and scores a point, high fiving Myucel the maid while fraking social convention.



Of course, nothing really changes at the end of the episode. Elves and dwarves will still argue about stuff like what weapon is better in a video game. The only redeeming factor in the whole episode was that it was all a Machiavellian plot by the Japanese government. They set up the whole thing knowing that the elves and dwarves would go all out, all so that they could collect intelligence on their capabilities. At least there's SOMETHING in there for thinking people who enjoy things like PLOT and THINKING!



Watch Outbreak Company on or talk about this episode on our .

KILL LA KILL (Episode Six)

PLAYER: Knightshade

CLASS: DJ



Hello boys and girls! DJ Knightshade here to talk to you about Kill la Kill episode 6! After learning of his connection with Tsumugu, Ryuko tries to press Aikuro for more information, but doesn't get much outside of his group's name, Nudist Beach. Meanwhile, another of the Elite Four, Uzu Sanageyama, gets permission from Satsuki to fight against Ryuko himself. The next day, Uzu challenges Ryuko, facing against her in his Three-Star Goku Uniform, Blade Regalia. He has the advantage due to his fast eyesight reading all of Ryuko's moves. Ryuko gets the ever loving crap beaten out of her, and for a while it seems like she's going to lose. However, Ryuko overcomes this by using a part of her uniform to block Uzu's vision, allowing her to defeat him and destroy his uniform. Not wanting to give up, Uzu undergoes a drastic operation to sew his eyes shut, and challenges Ryuko again., this time using his other senses to predict her moves and completely overwhelm her. With his Goku uniform upgraded and his other senses working at super human abilities, it looks like Uzu is going to win. However, before Uzu can deliver the final blow, his Goku uniform overheats due to him being more powerful than it can handle, giving Ryuko the opportunity to escape and fight another day. I swear to god this show gets weirder and weirder. The show is making my head spin with all the craziness that's going on. I don't hate it by any means, it's just hard for me to pay attention when naked people are fighting demon clothing, sword play with half naked women is happening at an erratic speed, and Goku uniforms turning into mechs. I have to remember that for this show you have to turn off your brain and watch the pretty pictures. Again, they pretty much knocked it out of the park on this. This series doesn't get enough praise from me but I will try throughout the remaining episodes. In short, it's a great episode, and I can't wait for the next.



Watch Kill La Kill on & or talk about this episode on our .

NAGI NO ASUKARA (Episode Six)

PLAYER: MakiMaki

CLASS: Content Provider



This player is officially out of the competition, but can join again for the Winter season.



Watch Nagi No Asukara on or talk about this episode on our .



WEEK 006 TALLY



* Kanashimi: 914

* Christmas: 660

* Elk: 728

* Midnight: 530

* Siege: 500

* Bobby Henshin: 480

* Kayarath: 370

* Zero Gravity: 220

* Knightshade: 200

* MakiMaki: 70



NEXT WEEK'S CHALLENGE: Write about your episode as if you're telling your grandchildren about it 50 years from now.



Make sure to vote for your favorite review below! You can give your favorite an extra 30 points.
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